If I Ran NASA

By

Master Kerner Von Buzzenship

If I ran NASA, it would be…

AASA, Animal Astronaut Space Agency

Only pets would command space ships.

Never would humans make rocket trips.

A dog, monkey, and chimpanzee

Were first in space to be.

But now only women and men

To Earth orbit we send.

So I’ve decided who will go.

I’ll pick my dog named Mo!

He’ll need a canine suit

With four, not two, space paw boots.

Next, I’d build him a rocket-ship

With a padded cage and water to sip.

He’d eat tasty astro-biscuits

Made from steak and candy tidbits.

He’ll let out a bark at lift-off.

My doggy-naut Mo is a-loft.

With the right kind of animal stuff

Mo’s, on board, that’s quite enough.

But what about my cat Minnie?

Would NASA find her too skinny?

With her on board with my doggy Mo.

Into the heavens, their rocket will go.

Some think dogs and cats might fight

But not on this spaceship flight.

Astronauts and cosmonauts got along.

Canines and felines can do no wrong.

Minnie is always graceful.

I know Mo won’t act hateful.

Besides, a trip to Mars takes months.

Minnie will keep Mo out of the dumps.

What if they find a green alien

On a satellite named Tailien?

They will never mind

If he isn’t their kind.

Red, White, Green or Blue.

Pets’ colors are different too.

Why not make him a friend?

His green color will blend with them.

The three will become a team

Holding each in high esteem.

Whose to say which is best?

Getting there and back is their quest.

But on the planet Mars

No longer can Mo chase cars.

A Mars’ rover I’ll build him

With seats for the three of them.

They’ll be driving around

With Mo as their chauffeuring hound.

On Mars, there is no town

Anywhere to be found.

So I’ll have them build a house

Where Minnie can chase a mouse.

Now Mars Mice are a different sort

The result of a rocket abort.

Two eyes are in their head.

With skin that is bright red.

And weird unearthly features

Make them very odd creatures.

With an ugly purple nose

As long as a garden hose.

They root around the floor

And slither out the door.

But they’ll be right at home

In a planetary dome

Built by Alien, Minnie, and Mo

For their former rodent foe.

So when it’s time to go

Back to the Earth we know.

There will be four on board

Not one will be ignored.

Though it’s millions of miles

The four will all have smiles

No challenge will be too great

Or unknown scary fate.

The AASA now has two more

Making the animal astronauts four.

Mo, Minnie, Alien and Mouse.

Soon they’ll be home in my house.

But what about their room,

I’ll choose the closet for the broom.

The space will have to change,

For four astronauts so strange.

Mo and Minnie by the door.

Mouse and Alien on the floor.

Till they sleep on the shelf

And I’ll join them by myself.

* * * * *

We’ll be a happy five

Just glad to be alive

Waiting in that place

For another trip to space.

Kerner’s NASA has wonderful things.

Pets as celestial queens and kings.

Animal Astronauts launching for the stars

And Buzzenship began it all on Mars.

---